25.01.2021 | All words by Fefa | Foto @princesatravesti Fashion @vicenta_perrotta | @marinacortescalle@llucasnavarro e @gabs_lhz

My name is Fefa, I am 27 years old, I live in São Paulo/Brazil, and I am a body in constant movement, transformation, that is never in the same place. Transmutation has always been a presence within my existence, when I start to see myself as a body that is outside the cis-binary conceptions that the world was built on, I start to work with my powers. Art was that starting point so that my expression on how to fit into this world or expand or create a space for myself in it (or also create my own new world) was possible.

My research bases walk with questioning, with doubt, and not with certainties, not with balance, since I understand that my body is in the comfort of the discomfort of cisgenerity, being the crucial question mark to propose gradual changes, be a body. I work creating hybrid beings, because it is also a hybrid, so creating mergers with my areas of research and work that are theater, performance, music and other powers in which my body has already walked and carried, are the processes that keep me alive, active, in motion.

The work that I present in this document today is called Aonde Eu Estou Agora?” (Where Am I Now?), a musical work composed and elaborated in a very curious and even immediate manner so to speak, since every project originated from the need and urgency to express all the flood of feelings and emotions that reverberated as a direct result of the process of social isolation before the state of pandemic and quarantine. It was not a project that was in my initial plans, but I value the truth and my own voice. I value what I feel, for being a real and living body. So I started working on the compositions to bring this whole life to life. …range of events that came from me from the inside out, in a kind of cathartic and exponential movement.

I share the thought that art is made collectively, the socio-political-cultural role of the artist in the country we live in and beyond art itself, so joint creation is the foundation of collectivities that result in support networks, affectivity, affection and respect enter our bodies. Throughout the mixtape’s entire production period, I invited many artists to join the project, all of which their work crosses me a lot. I have listed below the ten artists that most inspired me last year (and still inspire me) for you to know their work and strengths, and to be able to share and promote.

Abstrat0

I got to know Abstrat0 through his Instagram and right away I was completely in love and enchanted with all the beauty, poetics and sentimental density in his works. Her illustrations narrate emotions, expressions and experiences about what happens not only with her but with people around her. She was also responsible for creating the art-illustrations featured in my mixtape “Aonde Eu Estou Agora?“. Currently, she has been working on a series called “Lonely“, which portrays unique moments and without definition.

Del Toro

Del Toro has a very remarkable charm and sensitivity. Since I heard his songs with his sweet voice I thought “I need to make music with this wonderful one!”. And so it happened. She and I created two poems for specific works of each, the first one was “Na Sua Esquina Tem um Lampião” present in Del Toro’s first EP called “Músicas pra Ouvir Chapada“, and for my last mixtape we created “Izo Lar“, a sonnet of loneliness that permeates all this feeling due to social isolation in the period of pandemic and quarantine. Her last musical release is her EP “Saída de Emergência“.

Cantuarioo

I met this incredible artist during her live performance at a music festival, since then I have been looking for her work that has crossed me a lot. Cantuarioo has a strength and a connection with rock music which is one of my musical roots. We also created two songs together in the previous year. The first one is called “No Escuro” and is part of your EP that has the same name, and the second one in my mixtape is called “Cante pra Mim“, which is a celebration of the voices, all kinds of singing that comes from foreign bodies and placed on the edge.

All artists are part of my life, and they are valuable and important people to me in various processes. When we talk about being an independent artist in a country like Brazil, which is the country that kills the most bodies TLGBQIA +, being alongside forces that motivate you and make you walk is extremely essential. It’s us for us, the collective process exists and creates bonds so that we don’t go through all the avalanches alone, and art is our way of putting a lot of what we feel, we are, we are, out.

When I was a child I always told my mother that my dream when I grew up was to live surrounded by artists, artist people, and today I live my dream in reality, I am surrounded by lights and powers that keep me lucid and able to believe that there is a space for us, a place for us, a new world where we will actually be our narratives, where we will exist without fear or guilt, and we will do everything according to our strengths.

I really miss being with these artists, to be able to create, to have our exchanges of affection and affection, and maybe this feeling of being away was what most affected me emotionally during this period. Dealing with the loneliness of not being able to see the people you love in person took us all by surprise, and having to deal with it was the biggest challenge (and it is still taking into account that here we are still in a pandemic even with the arrival some vaccines).